Thai bureaucracy with your own yacht – sometimes you just have to turn the world upside down for it to make sense.

Oh dear… has it really been that long since my last logbook entry?
I have to admit that we’ve probably been a little too lazy over the past few weeks — and also rather busy dealing with the aftermath of a small “motorbike mishap” as well as Thailand’s unbelievably uncoordinated authorities.
So today’s logbook entry is going to be a little longer.
Where should I start…? Well, perhaps with the fact that Thailand has by now probably become the most complicated country I have ever visited with Odin.
There are not only countless ridiculous and completely pointless maritime regulations, but at least as many different answers from officials who are operating well beyond the limits of their own expertise.
A single question will often keep five officials busy, only to end with us being sent to the next higher authority — where exactly the same game starts all over again.
Here’s a small example:
After three months, we had to leave the country to do a visa run. Together with my “ex-brother-in-law” Axel, we decided to leave Thailand overland and drive to Penang, Malaysia.
But wait! It’s not that simple!
Odin needed a replacement captain with the appropriate qualifications and certificates.
My dear ex-partner Uts kindly agreed to take responsibility for Odin as captain while we were away.
To arrange this, we first had to travel all the way back from Koh Phangan to Koh Samui.
A visit to the Harbour Master, paperwork, then Customs, where we kept several officials occupied for quite some time because they didn’t really know what to do with us. Then Immigration, as required by the official procedure.
After waiting for two hours, we were informed that this wasn’t actually necessary.
Well then!
Everything sorted, Uts took over Odin, and Axel and I headed off to Malaysia in his 500-horsepower pickup.
Oh, wait… the pickup also needed complicated Customs procedures and new insurance documents for crossing the border. All of this had to be sorted out in advance and then dealt with again at both border crossings.
It’s nice to know that we yachties aren’t the only ones suffering from bureaucracy. ;)
And now, finally, off to Penang, Malaysia!
A few years ago, we visited this modern island with Odin. It has the enchanting old town of George Town, one of the few cities in Southeast Asia where you can still see such a strong connection to its past.
If you’re ever in the area, definitely visit the place!
For our return journey, I had obtained onward tickets for a flight out of Thailand.
Onward tickets are confirmed flight bookings that you can purchase for a fee to prove that you have a ticket to leave the country.
Trying to explain that we entered Thailand by yacht — and that we would also be leaving Thailand by yacht — is apparently beyond the intellectual capacity of the officials.
So, armed with these flight tickets, which we have used many times before without any problems, we arrived at the border to re-enter Thailand.
Now things get complicated.
Axel has a ten-year visa, which the officers had apparently never seen before.
I had obtained a “Multiple Entry Tourist Visa” in advance as the captain of the yacht, because although the yacht itself is allowed to remain in Thailand for up to two and a half years, the captain or owner is only allowed to stay for four weeks.
Thai logic!
Frel, meanwhile, was entering Thailand normally as a tourist.
After checking Axel’s ten-year visa, the officers had at least learned something new — that such a visa actually exists.
However, Frel’s onward ticket caused problems.
What is routinely accepted without any issues at airports apparently doesn’t work at Thai land borders.
Her ticket confirmation was not accepted because the ticket had not yet been paid for.
Entry denied!
Shit!
She was told to return to Malaysia and enter Thailand by air.
Trying to explain that we had actually entered Thailand by yacht and would be leaving again by yacht was completely pointless and clearly overwhelmed the officials.
So I politely asked:
“What can we do?”
We needed a paid ticket.
So we booked a flight for Frel out of Thailand two months later.
The female officer then rather grumpily rejected that ticket as well, claiming that we had “lied” to them earlier.
We were now told to leave the Immigration area and Frel was supposed to return to Malaysia and enter Thailand by plane.
Absolute bureaucratic madness!
We stayed.
I tried to find a solution.
Again, we were told to leave the area.
Nope!
Following the old principle of “if you can’t get anywhere with the small guy, talk to the big guy”, I used AI to find the name and phone number of the highest-ranking Immigration official and called him.
With the kind of extremely polite and deferential attitude that works so well in Asia, I explained our situation and asked for his help with this unfortunate misunderstanding.
Unfortunately, he was no longer directly responsible, but he promised to contact the new Immigration Colonel and ask him to help us.
In the meantime, I had another conversation with our hardcore female officer.
One thing you learn very quickly in Thailand: never raise your voice, never blame anyone, and never cause the other person to lose face.
So I repeatedly told her that I was sorry, that this had been a misunderstanding on my part, that I had never intended to violate Thai law, that I understood her concerns — and asked whether there was any way she could help us.
I cautiously tried the subject of a “penalty fee”.
I told her that I had previously made an administrative mistake in Thailand through ignorance and had forgotten a document when clearing in.
The “helpful and friendly” officer at the time had been willing, after a “penalty payment” of 5,000 baht, to help me resolve the situation and obtain the missing document online from the previous office — so that I wouldn’t have to sail all the way back to the previous province, three days against the wind.
Now things got interesting!
Suddenly, we were no longer told to leave the Immigration hall.
We were told to wait.
Meanwhile, the senior official called me back. While I was explaining our unfortunate situation to him as persuasively and politely as possible, Axel suddenly gave me the thumbs-up.
All clear.
We could enter Thailand.
The “special processing fee” — without a receipt, of course — had been accepted.
The Colonel seemed slightly confused when I told him that the problem had been solved and thanked him warmly for his time and for calling me back.
Frel paid 2,000 baht and, after almost five hours, finally received her entry stamp.
Phew!
Let’s get the hell out of here!
But the story continues.
Back in Koh Phangan, I had to officially register myself again as captain.
When Uts and I handed over the boat to the new captain, the Harbour Master in Koh Samui had told us that I could take care of my return as captain directly in Koh Phangan and did not have to travel back to Koh Samui with Uts.
So now, back in Koh Phangan, five intellectually overwhelmed officials at the Harbour Office stood around me, looking at me and wondering what on earth they were supposed to do.
I was told to go back to Koh Samui.
MOMENT!
I called the Harbour Master in Koh Samui — yes, exactly the same person who had confirmed that I did NOT have to travel back to Samui.
This time, he told me that I DID have to go back.
So… time for the cake-and-crumbs routine again.
I found the name and phone number of his superior at the highest provincial authority.
And this time, I actually reached a genuinely friendly and competent official who suddenly made it possible to handle the whole thing by email.
There we go!
You probably think that was the end of the problem now.
Wrong!
We are in Thailand!
By this point, I had also discovered that, contrary to the information we had been given before the captain’s handover, a change of captain actually DOES have to be reported to Immigration as well.
So off I went to Immigration in Koh Phangan.
And once again, several highly qualified officials gathered around me, once again having absolutely no idea what to do with me.
They called Koh Samui.
And this time I was told that yes, I DID have to report the captain change because a change of captain is apparently a very important matter.
Oh?
Suddenly!
I smiled, thanked them for the information and took a deep breath.
OMMMMMMMMM…
Surely there must be someone above these Immigration geniuses at the main provincial office in Surat Thani.
You can probably guess what happened next…
Yes, exactly.
The cake-and-crumbs routine.
So: find the name, rank and phone number and — and this is very important in Thailand — do not complain!
Instead, apologize for the misunderstandings and politely ask for help in resolving the problem.
I switched on my Asian “maximum humility mode” and eventually received the answer from the top boss himself:
I could complete the procedure at the next Immigration office in the new province and did NOT have to travel all the way back to Koh Samui.
I sent the boss an email thanking him for his help and clarification and printed everything out — just in case.
So, dear friends, as you can see, Thailand is actually a very straightforward country to cruise around in with your own yacht.
LOL
We have now sailed on to Koh Tao.
It’s a tourist hotspot with wonderful nature, but unfortunately there is simply too much tourism for our taste.
I suspect our stay here will therefore be relatively short.